Another week down, a couple more to go

Dear USA,

Hello from New Zealand. It's a beautiful day in the quaint little trashy town known as Hamilton. The scenic vomit-colored river provides a refreshing extra layer of humidity, so I am blessed with omnipresent sweat. My consistent ab exercises in the morning leave me nearly drowning in my own perspiration in no time at all, but when I'm the star of the newest edition of Macho Missionaries, you'll know why. The ozone layer here above NZ is quite absent, giving us an extra dose of enriching sunlight -- with a little extra kick. Needless to say, my hair is having a hard time keeping up with my skin. On the whole, New Zealand does not understand what it means to have good food. Everything here is very bland. But for some reason, everything tastes delicious! I'm always hungry and I haven't had something I didn't like yet. Maybe that has something to do with all my energy seeping out of me in the form of that perpetual salty discharge. Riding around on bikes all day every day takes its toll. But I'm loving it!

The Kiwis are rather fond of a ridiculous lingo in which "rubbish" replaces trash or garbage. When someone is interested in the Church, they are "keen." That's the one. That's the one. (Right on. Cool.). I was thinking about attending uni when I get off my mission, maybe at Utah State. Most people here think "uni"versity is a waste of time because you can get jobs very easily without it. But that decision doesn't need to be made for a long time. Meanwhile, the mission is sweet as! I'm hungry as all the time. But most the time I'm just sweaty as. But it's all goods. All goods. I hope yous in America are having fun and being happy and being the best yous can be. That's all I want. If not, well, that's real stink. The feeds here are great! Islanders make good food, and lots of it. But you don't see lots of lollies. Sweets are in short supply.

Yeah that's how they talk... I know. Crazies. We committed this guy named Epi to baptism and that was amazing. We asked what it would mean to him if the BOM was true, and he said it would change everything, because "the truth will make him free." I'll send a more spiritual e-mail another time. Sorry about that. I love you all and thanks for the support!

Thanks for everything. I'll let you know if I get letters from anyone.

I love you. New Zealand is great and humid. All the time. Jacob 6:12. Great one. That's my spiritual thought for today. Bye!

Love,
Elder Zachary Jensen